I wan go thief!

I have decided to become a thief. A great big political thief. And who can blame me? It is the only safe way to steal in Nigeria.

Alamasieyegha was sentenced to 2years for money laundering. He spent only 2months in jail after his conviction.

Thief Tafa Balogun spent 6months in jail for stealing billions of naira. 

It's official - political thieves and corrupt officials serve the shortest prison sentences in the Nigeria. 

If you don't believe me, go ask the supected pickpocket in that hellhole called Suleja prison who has been there for 3years without trial.

National Awards and Political Statements

Prof Soyinka and Gani Fawehinmi are two of my favorite Nigerian Icons. 

For decades now they have stood against social injustice, criminal governance and blah blah blah (causes too numerous to mention). 

I have found that if anything happens that I don't like, instead of rioting I can rest assured that our displeasure will be more eloquently expressed by one or both of these two gentlemen. They have fought for us - the Nigerian people.

The fight has not been without personal cost however. 

Chief Fawehinmi has been passed over so many times for the coveted Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN) title that you would think someone somewhere had sworn a blood oath that he would never get it. And Prof Soyinka had previously made it known that the day you see him take a national award is the day a black man rules the world (or something to that effect I think). 

Wait a minute, a blackman is ruling the... oh never mind.

So I'm chilling in my house yesterday when the news filters through that Gani was awarded a national order... again. And expectedly, Gani rejected it... again. 

Similarly, it is well known that on several occasions Prof Soyinka has rejected various attempts by gvernment to bestow awards on him. Preferring instead the esteem of his peers, the public and his self. 

So it was with amazement that I watched his son receive an award on his behalf. I began to wonder if Soyinka perhaps was actually impressed with the personal integrity of Yar'Adua. I began to think maybe Yar'Adua was not such a bad fellow after all. 

Then the other shoe dropped. He accepted the award plaque but donated the award to the Supreme Court in the hope that it would restore the good sense that was missing in their recent ruling that ratified the 2007 elections. 

I doubled up over laughing. Yes O! I knew Prof no fit fall my hand.

Creamed

This morning I found a glob of cream on the edge of my laptop. Looked like someone put it there and was taking bits of it to apply to their - wherever. Cream on my laptop? I tire.

So because I didn't give space for anyone else to use my laptop, the laptop must suffer? Ha! Anyway, its my own fault for leaving it on the missus' dressing table. 

Here we go again!

Yesterday President Yar'Adua swore in his new ministers. 

Not to sound negative or anything but does anyone seriously expect anything better from this crew than what we've had since 2007?

Here's the old:

Justice - Chief Mike Aondoakaa

Agric and Water Resources - Dr. S. Abba Ruma

Foreign Affairs - Chief Ojo Maduekwe

Interior - Gen. Godwin Abbe (rtd)

Finance - Remi Babalola

the redeployed:

Mrs. Deziani Allison-Madueke - Transportation to Mines and Steel Development

Dr. Shamsudeen Usman - Finance to National Planning

John Odey - Environment

Chief Adetokunbo Kayode - Labour

Dr. Hassan Lawal - Works and Housing

Mrs. Grace Ekpiwhre - Science & Tech to Works and Housing

the new:

Dr. Shettima Mustapha - Defence

Prof. Dora Akunyili - Information and Communications

Senator Adamu Aliero - Federal Capital Territory (FCT)

Prof. Babatunde Osotimehin - Health 

the recycled and recycled and recycled and you never tire?:

Dr. Rilwanu Lukman - Petroleum

Now what do we have here? 

On the surface, I'd say we have a former governor of a dry state handling the FCT, a pharmacist handling our national PR, an agriculturalist is to handle national defence and an eminently qualified but ooollllllldd man to run petroleum. 

To clarify, I have nothing against these people. I actually have a ton of respect for some of them. I just hate this feeling of deja vu because square pegs seem to be placed in round holes.

So now I've got to hope that Prof Akunyili impresses like she did at NAFDAC. And good God Rilwan Lukman is back. The man must have great grandkids in school by now. Yeesh! 

Well, like I said yesterday, I hope he at least reduces our pump prices for fuel.

No Christmas Fuel Price Reduction

Yesterday our government announced its decision not to give us the one Christmas present that would have meant so much to us all - lower fuel prices.

According to NNPC mouthpiece Dr Livi Ajuonuma (who rarely seems to have much work to do these days) government will not allow a reduction in prices as it would like to recoup its estimated N500million a month subsidy.  

Can you believe this crap?

Like many Nigerians, when the news broke that Government would probably reduce pump prices, I was ecstatic. Imagine buying fuel at N50 or even N60 again!  Imagine the political capital that would be earned by this government if it dropped the pump prices. 

Imagine how grateful travellers would have felt to find lower travel fares to their hometowns  instead of the usual fare increase. Imagine how grateful sellers of goods would feel to find that transport rates dropped to make it cheaper to move items to market. 

Imagine if rice and clothes and meat and everything was cheaper this Sallah or Christmas. 

Imagine the missed opportunity to buy our votes at the next election. Who advises this government on these matters anyway?  

This is just proof that this government knows it doesn't really need the electorate to win elections.