Call me nostalgic, but I'm the kind of guy who finds it hard to let go of pictures, cards, manuals, letters, books and such. Reason: I just never know when I'm gonna need it again.
Consequently, I find myself rummaging through piles of meaningless junk in search of gems I've forgotten I had.
Today, I was poking through my draft folder in yahoomail (yes, some of us actually use the extra features of Yahoo!) and came across a reply I drafted to one of those 419 scam letters I used to get back in the day. I wrote this in 2002 and I can't believe I never sent it - I really hope I actually did.
I've included the reply and the actual scam letter I got from the so-called Auditor Nelson so you can join me in wondering why anyone would fall for such a thing.
Enjoy:
Hi Nelson,
First of all, you no too try! I mean, everyone knows that its only Nigerians who sign their names (real & fake!) with terms like Dr this, Surveyor that, or as in your case, Auditor Nelson.
Secondly, a so-called auditor with access to millions of dollars can afford a secretary who can actually type and spell well! Put the first letter of your surname in block font dude!
Thirdly, your refer to God too much to be anything but an Ibo guy; the most religious tribe in Nigeria.
Anyhow sha, all the best in your scheme. May you be caught and flogged. Personally, I suggest you do some actual work with your God-given imagination. Publish an e-book on 419 crime or something.
oh, and DONT SEND ME YOUR CRAP AGAIN!!!
auditornelson1@i12.com wrote:
From Auditor.Nelson whyte
15 A Louis Botha Avenue,
Fellside Cape Town,
Republic of South Africa.
{KEEP THIS BUSINESS WITHIN YOURSELF FOR SECURITY
AND SAFE REASONS}
Dear Sir/Madam,
We want to transfer to overseas ($ 163,000.000.00 USD) ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY
THREE million United States Dollars) FROM SOUTH AFRICA, I want to ask you to
quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to
provide either an existing Bank Account or to set up a new Bank A/C
immediately to receive this money, even an Empty A/C can serve, as long as
you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business
trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either
now or in future.
I am Auditor.Nelson whyte,the Auditor General of the Bank of South Africa,
during the course of our Auditing I discovered a floating fund in an Account
opened in the Bank in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on this
Account again, after going through some old files in the records I
discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir] hence the
money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be
forfeited for nothing.The owner of this account is Mr.Eshed.B.Willey, a
foreigner, and a sailor, and he died, since 1993. and no other person knows
about this account or anything concerning it, the Account has no other
Beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that Mr.Eshed.B.Willey
until his death was the Manager of DE BEERS MINING COMPANY LTD., in South
Africa.
We will start the first transfer with NINE Million [$9,000.000] upon
successful transaction without any disappoint from your side, we shall
re-apply for the payment of the remaining rest amount to your account, The
Amount involved is (USD163M) ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREE million United
States Dollars, only I want to first transfer $9,000.000 [NINE million
United States Dollar from this Money into a safe foreigners Account abroad
before the rest, but I don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as
a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here,
without valid international foreign Passport, but can only be Approved to
any foreigner with valid International Passport or Drivers license and
foreign A/C because the money is in US dollars and the former owner of the
A/C Mr.Eshed.B.Willey is a foreigner too, and the money can only be
Approved into a foreign A/C.
I got your email through my Personal Secretary through the internet,She did
not know you before neither do I know you she only got it when I told her
that I needed an email Address where I can send a Confidential Proposal
to,though I did not tell her what the content of my mail was,It only God
that brought us together to do this business and I am revealing this to you
with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you
are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business.
I need your full co-operation to make this work fine because the management
is ready to Approve this Payment to any Foreigner who has correct
information of this account which I will give to you upon your positive
response and once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet up with
instruction of a key Bank official who is deeply involved with me in this
business. I need your strong assurance that you will never,never let me
down. With my influence and the position of the Bank official we can
Transfer this Money to any foreigner's reliable Account which you can
provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending our physical
arrival in your country for sharing.The Bank official will destroy all
Documents of transaction Immediately we receive this money leaving no trace
to any place and to build confidence.I will use my position and influence to
obtain all legal Approvals for onward transfer of this money to your account
with apropriate clearance from the relevant ministries and foreign exchange
departments.The onlything I needs from you now is to keep this business
within yourself untill I instruct you to spread the Good news to anyone OK
.
At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total
Amount, 60% will be for me while 5% will be for expenses both parties might
have incurred during this process.
I look forward to your earliest reply through my email address
Yours,
Auditor.Nelson whyte
Consequently, I find myself rummaging through piles of meaningless junk in search of gems I've forgotten I had.
Today, I was poking through my draft folder in yahoomail (yes, some of us actually use the extra features of Yahoo!) and came across a reply I drafted to one of those 419 scam letters I used to get back in the day. I wrote this in 2002 and I can't believe I never sent it - I really hope I actually did.
I've included the reply and the actual scam letter I got from the so-called Auditor Nelson so you can join me in wondering why anyone would fall for such a thing.
Enjoy:
Hi Nelson,
First of all, you no too try! I mean, everyone knows that its only Nigerians who sign their names (real & fake!) with terms like Dr this, Surveyor that, or as in your case, Auditor Nelson.
Secondly, a so-called auditor with access to millions of dollars can afford a secretary who can actually type and spell well! Put the first letter of your surname in block font dude!
Thirdly, your refer to God too much to be anything but an Ibo guy; the most religious tribe in Nigeria.
Anyhow sha, all the best in your scheme. May you be caught and flogged. Personally, I suggest you do some actual work with your God-given imagination. Publish an e-book on 419 crime or something.
oh, and DONT SEND ME YOUR CRAP AGAIN!!!
auditornelson1@i12.com wrote:
From Auditor.Nelson whyte
15 A Louis Botha Avenue,
Fellside Cape Town,
Republic of South Africa.
{KEEP THIS BUSINESS WITHIN YOURSELF FOR SECURITY
AND SAFE REASONS}
Dear Sir/Madam,
We want to transfer to overseas ($ 163,000.000.00 USD) ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY
THREE million United States Dollars) FROM SOUTH AFRICA, I want to ask you to
quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to
provide either an existing Bank Account or to set up a new Bank A/C
immediately to receive this money, even an Empty A/C can serve, as long as
you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business
trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either
now or in future.
I am Auditor.Nelson whyte,the Auditor General of the Bank of South Africa,
during the course of our Auditing I discovered a floating fund in an Account
opened in the Bank in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on this
Account again, after going through some old files in the records I
discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir] hence the
money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be
forfeited for nothing.The owner of this account is Mr.Eshed.B.Willey, a
foreigner, and a sailor, and he died, since 1993. and no other person knows
about this account or anything concerning it, the Account has no other
Beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that Mr.Eshed.B.Willey
until his death was the Manager of DE BEERS MINING COMPANY LTD., in South
Africa.
We will start the first transfer with NINE Million [$9,000.000] upon
successful transaction without any disappoint from your side, we shall
re-apply for the payment of the remaining rest amount to your account, The
Amount involved is (USD163M) ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREE million United
States Dollars, only I want to first transfer $9,000.000 [NINE million
United States Dollar from this Money into a safe foreigners Account abroad
before the rest, but I don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as
a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here,
without valid international foreign Passport, but can only be Approved to
any foreigner with valid International Passport or Drivers license and
foreign A/C because the money is in US dollars and the former owner of the
A/C Mr.Eshed.B.Willey is a foreigner too, and the money can only be
Approved into a foreign A/C.
I got your email through my Personal Secretary through the internet,She did
not know you before neither do I know you she only got it when I told her
that I needed an email Address where I can send a Confidential Proposal
to,though I did not tell her what the content of my mail was,It only God
that brought us together to do this business and I am revealing this to you
with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you
are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business.
I need your full co-operation to make this work fine because the management
is ready to Approve this Payment to any Foreigner who has correct
information of this account which I will give to you upon your positive
response and once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet up with
instruction of a key Bank official who is deeply involved with me in this
business. I need your strong assurance that you will never,never let me
down. With my influence and the position of the Bank official we can
Transfer this Money to any foreigner's reliable Account which you can
provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending our physical
arrival in your country for sharing.The Bank official will destroy all
Documents of transaction Immediately we receive this money leaving no trace
to any place and to build confidence.I will use my position and influence to
obtain all legal Approvals for onward transfer of this money to your account
with apropriate clearance from the relevant ministries and foreign exchange
departments.The onlything I needs from you now is to keep this business
within yourself untill I instruct you to spread the Good news to anyone OK
.
At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total
Amount, 60% will be for me while 5% will be for expenses both parties might
have incurred during this process.
I look forward to your earliest reply through my email address
Yours,
Auditor.Nelson whyte
